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Hardly a day goes by without straight men debating what it means to be a man now that women are becoming more powerful and male privilege is being eroded. Over the past fortnight, some have even whined about the widespread outrage ignited by women who have been sexually exploited finally taking a stand against their oppressors. Well, first of all, they need to get over themselves. But what about gay men and our relationship with our masculinity?

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Why are we usually left out of the discussion about what it means to be a man? Because it strikes me that our relationship with our masculinity is much more complicated, intense and potentially troubling.

Feminine Men Not Wanted - First Person #5 - PBS Digital Studios

Which is why I commissioned a survey for Attitude magazine about masculinity. Some 5, readers responded, and some of the feelings they expressed are surprising. It also hints at another layer of complication: This suggests why gay men who prefer the passive role sexually are often made to feel ashamed of this: If our relationship ever got to the stage that we wanted to open it, then it could be negotiated, or not. He said it would be a mutual decision.

It was weirdly reassuring that a guy was being honest to me about his desires, as my previous straight partner was a massive cheater.

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I mean, he was horrendous. Jake and I dated for nearly a year until he was sent overseas by his company. It was pretty heartbreaking to say goodbye. However, we stayed friends on Facebook.


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  5. He ended up meeting a woman in Hong Kong and is now happily married with a beautiful child. There is still a lot of discrimination against bi guys. I exist in artistic circles and my girlfriends think dating a bi guy is a bit weird.

    The Epidemic of Gay Loneliness - The Huffington Post

    My gay friends are very judgmental. It annoys me society thinks women can be bi but not men.

    My experience with bi guys is that they have a sensitivity that straight guys rarely possess and honesty that I find refreshing. Visit bivisibilityday.

    What gay men’s attitudes to masculinity have taught me about womanhood

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